It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
God, I missed his penis.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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