elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Randomize
