It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
