the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
