were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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