Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize