I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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