all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
