i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
