He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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