He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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