i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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