My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
