I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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