went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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