Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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