He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
