Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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