I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
