I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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