Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I deserve this hangover.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
