Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
