Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize