Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
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