The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize