It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
