im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize