Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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