coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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