There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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