The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize