yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
