On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
