Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
