Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
