This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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