Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
