dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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