The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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