i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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