Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Damn victory sex feels great
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
