my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
