its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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