drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
operation harelip BJ is a go
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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