I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize