so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
