I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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