with your own penis?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
