Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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