dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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