Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Boobs are out for the taking
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
