We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Randomize
