he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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