i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
