yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
