You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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