I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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