why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
