i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Randomize