Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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