you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
