take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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