In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
do herpes really smell.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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