We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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