i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
We smell like vodka and hangover
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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